It has come to my attention that you people did not get my previous message. You continue to purchase the Sassafras Science books!

And now, I hear that all kinds of you are excited about the annual Cyber Monday sale from their publishers, Elemental Science. Apparently, a rumor is floating around that they will be offering a discounted novel package, just like they did last year.

There is an idea out there that says these novels make great Christmas gifts. Well, I say – NO WAY! These books should never grace your shelves!!

So, you have forced my hand – I could not sit by any longer. I had to break through the science tips and fun activities to share my case with you. Today, I will explain why you should never, ever allow these books inside your house.

Why The Sassafras Science Books Should Never Grace Your Bookshelves

#1 – These books are not strictly science.

The Sassafras Science novels tell the story of how Cecil, my sworn enemy, and his little minions (that prairie dog drives me crazy) sent his niece and nephew around the world to learn about science.

Sure your kids may pick up a fact or two along the way, but these books are not textbooks! And it is accepted by almost all the people I know that textbooks are the only real way to learn about science.

#2 – Your kids will beg you to read more and more.

There are reports from all over the globe that kids beg their parents every night to read to them about the Sassafras twins. They say that their kids can’t wait to do science now that they are using the Sassafras Science books.

Seriously?!? I was there and those adventures were not all that thrilling! It was all blah . . . blah . . . blah . . . science . . . blah . . . blah . . . blah. You won’t be missing anything special.

Plus, you don’t want your kids to beg you to read to them. You are an adult and you have much more pressing matters to attend to. And if you think those audio books will be the solution – see numbers one, three, and four.

#3 – You won’t get comprehension worksheets.

As a scientist, I insist on precision and accuracy. And all the people I know understand that to get accurate, factual responses you must make all students do comprehension worksheets.

It doesn’t matter their age. They don’t need to share what they found to be interesting. You don’t want them internalizing the information – you simply want them to spit it back out to you.

And that just won’t happen with these books. I say stick to the worksheets.

#4 – Your kids will get wrapped up in the adventure.

Your kids will get carried away with by the whole story! They will remember the adventure along with the facts they found interesting.

And the next thing you know, they will be playing pretend games, making fun of ME!  The Man with No Eyebrows and I will not have that!

Plus, I have seen pictures of whole Minecraft worlds created around what the students have read, which can’t possibly be good.

A Final Word

I warn you people – if you do not listen, I may have to take matters into my own hands. And on that day, Sassafras Science novels around the world will mysteriously begin to disappear . . .