An open letter to the Sassafras Science Adventurers who are considering buying a copy of the new Sassafras Science Geology novel.
Adventurers, I am not sure I should use that term as I don't want you to go on a Sassafras Science journey in the first place. But friends seemed wrong and if you have gotten this far, I must admit that you are adventurers.
Most of you know me as the Man With No Eyebrows, some of you know my real name, but I am not going to share it here for obvious reasons.
Instead, I am here to address a problem.
A problem that affects me greatly - one that has caused me to share something with you all that will . . . well, it has made me feel more vulnerable than ever. And the honesty in this letter scares me a bit, but the end result I hope to achieve is well worth the exposure.
Last night, I was walking through the streets of an undisclosed location late at night and I found the following stapled to a telephone pole: A Birth Announcement for the new Sassafras Science Geology novel.
Are you kidding me?
People still read the Sassafras Science series? I thought I had discouraged the world from these adventures with my previous writings.
Apparently though, thousands of "Sassy-Sci peeps" are loving science, which I am not completely opposed to, but you can learn about this subject in ways that won't encourage my nemesis.
Let me just tell you quite frankly - the new leg from the Sassafras Science Adventures is embarrassing to me. And there is no way you should ever, in a million years, get this book!
You can learn about rocks, minerals, islands, mountains, earthquakes, and volcanoes from somewhere else - a textbook - anything to help you avoid seeing what happened to me on this leg.
I watched the video trailer.
I see how they carefully avoided me. They focused on all the great places you will go - Ecuador, Norway, Antarctica, and more.
Well, I went places, too.
And my plan would have worked beautifully if it wasn't for my nemesis and his science-learning niece and nephew.
So, on this, the official birthday of The Sassafras Science Adventures Volume 5: Geology . . .
I say walk away.
Don't click on that link.
Don't buy this book.
You don't need to know what happens in the Sassafras Science Geology novel. Let the fate of Summer Beach hang in the balance.
Your life will not be richer and more interesting. Your kids won't enjoy learning about rocks the Sassafras Science Geology novel.
Plus, you won't learn anything new that you couldn't learn from somewhere else.
So, don't do it.
I beg of you - please, do not buy this book.
Because in doing so you will spare me the pain of reliving my greatest embarrassment to date . . .
The Man With No Eyebrows
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